The Midlife Business
Challenge Your Old Beliefs So You Can Stop Stalling & Step Boldly Forward
In this week’s episode, I want to continue talking about becoming more soul aligned in your business. The particular topic for today is how to challenge your old beliefs so that you can stop stalling and step boldly forward in your business.
Experts believe that the beliefs that we have about ourselves and our abilities are formed between the ages of zero and eight years old. These lessons are not necessarily verbalised to us, but children are exceptionally smart. Studies show that babies who are left in a crib without their needs being met will develop feelings of abandonment and distrust. So, if many of our most important lessons are learned at this early age, you might think we’re doomed but the good news is they can be unlearned and changed.
- (02:50) Whatever you have suffered or learned in the past can be changed
- (04:20) Get your fears down on paper
- (04:29) Prompts to help you look at your limiting beliefs
Hello, and welcome to the Midlife Business Show with Suzanne Mountain. This is the podcast that celebrates all those of us who are building a business during our middle years. I’m an ex corporate girl who started my business six years ago in my fifties. And I’m loving it. This podcast is here to inspire you with conversations with other entrepreneurs about the messy and magical ups and downs of this period of our lives. Plus, I’ll be sharing simple, actionable step by step strategies to help you build a business with impact and a life that you love
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome to the midlife business show with Suzanne mountain. This is the podcast that celebrates all those of us who are building a business during our middle
The particular topic for today is how to challenge your old beliefs so that you can stop stalling and step boldly forward in your business. Now, experts believe that our limiting beliefs, in fact any beliefs that we have about ourselves and our abilities are formed between the ages of zero and eight years old. These lessons are not necessarily verbalised to us, but children are exceptionally smart. Even as newborns, babies need human contact in order to thrive. And studies show that babies who do not have do parents and are left in a crib without their needs being met, will develop feelings of abandonment and distrust. So if many of our most important lessons are learned at this early age, you might think we’re doomed because people are living well into the eighties and nineties nowadays, right?
Well, don’t be so quick to believe that yes, these are learned lessons and behaviours, but the good news is they can also be unlearned and changed. And this is where personal development comes in and why I spent my 30 year corporate career helping people to do exactly that, change their behaviour and learn from their lessons. Now you can find hundreds of different methods for breaking, limiting beliefs and adapting a growth mindset.
The truth is that the brain’s neuropathways can readjust and reform so that eventually your limiting beliefs will feel less and less prominent in your everyday life. Consider it a transformation, you’ll just need to put in the work consistently in order to notice the shifts. Have you heard the quote ‘your past does not define your future’, another one of those that appears in memes on Facebook and Instagram, and it’s absolutely true.
Whatever you have suffered or learned in your past can be changed.
Moving into aligned work can be scary and intimidating. It can also bring us face to face with our worst fears about ourselves and our worthiness. Not to mention other people’s opinions of us.
Let me pause and just give you a reminder. You will never please everyone.
So try your best not to listen to other people’s opinions of you. Of course, accept constructive criticism that will help improve your business, but don’t take it personally.
Likewise, do not attach your worth to your work. You, as a human being, are worthy of everything life has to offer you. You are worthy simply because you exist.
Now, getting back to our fears, it’s far less scary and less damaging to the ego to fail at work you don’t love rather than work that you feel is your calling.
However, when you are aligned with your work, you are more prone to find solutions to problems because your calling is so much more important to you. You may also accept that failure is not an option with your calling because you believe in it with your whole heart.
Making sweeping changes and stepping into a new calling is certainly scary and stretching, but it is possible. Here are a few tried and tested ways to make the transition into your purpose easier.
Get your fears down on paper, and then tear that paper up or burn it to symbolically release them from your consciousness.
Here are a few prompts for you.
- What have you learned about life yourself and the world we live in that makes you nervous to pursue this path?
- What beliefs you hold right now about what’s possible.
- And what’s not, what past fears, insecurities and doubts come up.
- When you think about pursuing this path, what past failures or experiences do you keep replaying in your mind?
- As reasons you cannot pursue this path, which parts of your old life are you afraid to lose?
- If you pursue this new path, it could be things like relationships, habits, et cetera.
Now, I want you to try the following fear replacement exercise.
Think about what you truly want to be doing.
What are the excuses that immediately pop in your head that tell you you can’t are these reasons legitimate? For example I don’t actually want to do a group coaching programme because I value my one-to-one connections more and that’s my priority right now? Or are they made up?
My current private clients would leave me if I move to a group model.
Replace each made up fear with a more realistic opposite thought, prepare to be uncomfortable. Remember that everything sucks.
Sometimes you get to choose what kind of suck you want to deal with though. A boring job sucks and running your own business can sometimes suck. But would you rather be working for someone else and doing something you don’t care about?
Or would you rather deal with the problems that come with running your own business?
The choice is yours. Everything involves sacrifice of some sort, of cost, either energetic, monetary, or both.
What struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate in order to get the outcome on the other side, what unpleasant experiences are you willing to handle?
As Mark Manson says, embrace embarrassment, feel foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more, a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need to be doing it. Grounding yourself daily and taking care of yourself will propel you forward with these changes.
It’s important to remember that while yes, you will be uncomfortable as you make steps towards your purpose you can still take care of yourself.
Try grounding exercises to help you stay regulated while you make moves. If your nervous system gets too overwhelmed, you might shut down and decide to stop making progress regularly.
Remind yourself why you are doing this. Getting into alignment might be a scary process, but once you get to the other side, life becomes infinitely easier. The right clients will show up. Money will flow in and you’ll find opportunities arising in the strangest of places.
Plus you’ll finally be able to look yourself in the eye and confidently say you are doing what you truly came here to do. And that feeling is priceless.
Now, you know what path to follow and how to cope with feeling scared. It’s time to make moves towards your aligned work and develop your business.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode.
In a future episode, I will talk about making small soul aligned shifts in order to experience major fulfillment.
Bye for now.
Okay. That’s a wrap for today.
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