Have you experience of helping others find motivation and meaning in life? Most of us come across this with our families and then with our teams or depending on our business our clients.
Is it hard to motivate others?
Most of us know how hard it is to motivate others. No matter your role in life, most of us are part-time motivators. We not only have to motivate ourselves to get up in the morning and post yet another social media post even though the last ones we posted didn’t get any comments!
We need to keep going even when we’re not seeing the rewards from all our efforts. And it can be hard, can’t it? I’ve been there.
Plus as small business owners, we need suppliers and outsource partners to complete tasks to our timelines.
At home, we need partners to do their share, and children to become self-sufficient and responsible. I hear this all the time with my coaching clients and it doesn’t matter whether they are leaders in large organisations or parents of teenagers they all seem to experience the same difficulties. It can be baffling when we try to find find the right words to inspire enthusiasm and action.
If it weren’t hard enough to motivate ourselves when tired or bored, it’s even harder to persuade others into action. Motivating others is even more challenging when tasks are difficult, unclear, or distant from any immediate reward.
In spite of all that’s known about motivation, we continue to misunderstand it and fail to make good use of its true nature. We make assumptions about what drives people, grossly over-estimating the value of external rewards and under-estimating the power of simple appreciation and recognition.
The Search for Meaning
Unfortunately, motivating others can’t be reduced to a formula or list of steps to check off. Yet everyone can do a better job of getting others to participate in needed tasks. Dan Ariely in his book Payoff: The Hidden Logic that Shapes Our Motivations says,
“It’s about connecting more deeply to what we do, to the outcome of our efforts, to others, and to our relationships.”
Motivation drives us to achieve tasks that are difficult, challenging, and painful. We use motivation when there’s something that must be done to achieve a larger goal. When we are motivated, we will do things without joy and under unpleasant conditions. This is because the things that give a sense of meaning to life aren’t always the things that make us happy.
As humans, we tend to care more deeply about meaning than simple happiness. Most of us will do whatever it takes to find meaning and feelings of connection.
Many of us small business owners motivate ourselves in a quest to find a purpose or cause bigger than ourselves and our daily routines. This can be particularly strong during midlife when many who have focused more on tangible rewards start to look at giving back and making a worthwhile contribution.
The problem with Motivating Others
Part of the problem when it comes to motivating others is that we assume that what motivates us also motivates others. Self awareness is a key attribute of any successful business leader, regardless of whether they are running a micro business or a large corporation. Learning that we are not all driven by the same things is an important lesson in motivating others. And recognising that other sat different stages of their lives may want different things from life is also key.
“Knowing what drives us and others is an essential step toward enhancing the inherent joy – and minimizing the confusion – in our lives,”
writes Dan Ariely.
What can you learn from this about motivating others?
Think about the situations when you find it easiest to motivate yourself? Make a note of the circumstances so that you know your ideal working environment. Also think about when you struggle to motivate yourself?
What do you do when you need someone to act in a particular way? How do you go about getting them on your side? Do you use an old fashioned autocratic style or perhaps use your charm?
How do you motivate other people? There is lots of great material readily available that will help you learn how to help others find motivation and meaning in life so perhaps it time for you to do some research or even work with a coach.
I’d love to hear from you.
Suzanne